My kind, indulgent Mistress liv’d but two years after my Master. Her death was a great affliction to me. She left five sons, all gracious young men, and Ministers of the Gospel.--I continued with them all, one after another, till they died; they liv’d but four years after their parents. When it pleased God to take them to Himself. I was left quite destitute, without a friend in the world. But I who had so often experienced the Goodness of GOD, trusted in Him to do what He pleased with me.
In this helpless condition I went in the wood to prayer as usual; and tho’ the snow was a considerable height, I was not sensible of cold, or any other inconveniency.--At times indeed when I saw the world frowning round me, I was tempted to think that the LORD had forsaken me. I found great relief from the contemplation of these words in Isaiah xlix. v. 16. “Behold I have graven thee on the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.” And very many comfortable promises were sweetly applied to me. The lxxxix. Psalm and 34th verse, “My covenant will I not break nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips.” Hebrews, chap. xvi. v. 17, 18. Phillipians, chap. i. v. 6; and several more.
As I had now left all my dear and valued friends every place in the world was alike to me. I had for a great while entertain’d a desire to come to ENGLAND.--I imagined that all the Inhabitants of this Island were Holy; because all those that had visited my Master from thence were good, (Mr. Whitefield was his particular friend) and the authors of the books that had been given me were all English. But above all places in the world I wish’d to see Kidderminster, for I could not but think that on the spot where Mr. Baxter had liv’d, and preach’d, the people must be all Righteous.
The situation of my affairs requir’d that I should tarry a little longer in NEW-YORK, as I was something in debt, and was embarrass’d how to pay it.--About this time a young Gentleman that was a particular acquaintance of one of my young Master’s, pretended to be a friend to me, and promis’d to pay my debts, which was three pounds; and he assur’d me he would never expect the money again.--But, in less than a month, he came and demanded it; and when I assur’d him I had nothing to pay, he threatened to sell me.--Though I knew he had no right to do that, yet as I had no friend in the world to go to, it alarm’d me greatly.--At length he purpos’d my going a Privateering, that I might by these means, be enabled to pay him, to which I agreed.--Our Captain’s name was---- I went in Character of Cook to him.--Near St. Domingo we came up to five French ships, Merchant-men.--We had a very smart engagement that continued from eight in the morning till three in the afternoon; when victory declar’d on our side.--Soon after this we were met by three English ships which join’d us, and that encourag’d us to attack a sleet of 36 Ships.--We boarded the three first and then follow’d the others; and had the same success with twelve; but the rest escap’d us.--There was a great deal of blood shed, and I was near death several times, but the LORD preserv’d me.